What If Your Mess Is Actually Your Magic?

Back when I worked in large corporations, I never imagined my path would lead me to focus on human development — starting with my own. And here I am. My journey into coaching and facilitation began with a deep dive into understanding myself: my strengths, my patterns, and the stories I’d been telling myself that weren’t exactly helping me live the life I wanted.

Here’s the truth: I’m a better coach and facilitator today not just because of all the training, reading, and learning I’ve done (though that certainly helps), but because I’ve lived through some tough stuff. I’ve faced trauma, setbacks, and plenty of limiting beliefs that still love to sneak in and try to slow me down. And honestly? Those experiences — the messy, uncomfortable, vulnerable ones — are exactly what make me better at what I do. They’ve shaped me into who I am, and they help me connect with others on a deeper level.

I actually believe that’s true for all of us. Our experiences, especially the hard ones, are what shape us into the people we are today. And more often than not, those struggles end up fueling our best work.

And I’m sharing this today, inspired by something I recently learned: producer Ezra Edelman spent five years creating a nine-hour documentary about Prince’s life. Prince, as we all know, was a public icon — yet intensely private about his personal world. Edelman dug through Prince’s legendary "vault," filled with tapes, notes, and memorabilia, and interviewed people from both his personal and professional circles. He crafted a rich, nuanced portrayal of the man behind the music. But sadly, as it stands now, the film may never be released. Not because of inaccuracies or misrepresentation — but simply because Prince’s estate didn’t like how he was portrayed.

We know Prince as a musical genius, the man behind Purple Rain and Kiss, a magnetic performer with untouchable talent. But Edelman found something more behind the legend: a human being, full of flaws, pain, and complexity.

Prince’s childhood wasn’t glamorous. He bounced between his parents' homes after their divorce, eventually living with a friend. Abandonment and instability marked those early years — and that shaped him. It wasn’t separate from his artistry; it was part of what fueled his brilliance.

What stuck with me most is this idea that showing Prince’s human side — his struggles and imperfections — might somehow tarnish his legacy. As if being flawed makes us less worthy, less inspiring.

We’re taught from a young age to strive for perfection: be nice, get things right, succeed. But the truth is, we’re all human. And it’s our flaws — the parts we often try to hide — that make us unique. They’re what push us to learn, grow, and create. Yet so many of us treat those imperfections like shameful secrets, beating ourselves up when we fall short of the impossible standards we set.

Believe me, I get it. I’m a self-proclaimed “harshest critic in recovery.” I’ve set the bar sky-high for myself and then felt crushed when I didn’t hit the mark. But what if we flipped that script? What if we looked at our missteps and hardships not as failures, but as badges of honor — proof that we endured, adapted, and emerged stronger, wiser, and maybe even more compassionate?

So, I’ll leave you with this: What makes you you? And how do you feel about that?

If you’re like most people, you might feel tempted to hide the parts that feel messy or imperfect. But what if those are actually the parts that make you powerful, resilient, and real? What if they’re not the thing to overcome — but the thing to embrace?

Be well, be now.

Warmly,

Barbara