Curiosity Over Judgment: A Path to Deeper Connection

One of the most persistent challenges we face as human beings is our tendency to judge—quickly and often without full understanding. We see something or someone, and our minds immediately create stories to justify what we’ve seen or heard. Unfortunately, these stories are based on our own perceptions, which are frequently incomplete or even inaccurate.

For instance, I once asked a friend to help me with something important. When she said no, I felt disappointed and immediately judged her as being inconsiderate and selfish. That judgment created a sense of separation between us. However, instead of letting that feeling grow, I decided to get curious. It wasn’t until later that I learned she was going through a particularly difficult time in her personal life. My curiosity led to a conversation where she opened up about her struggles, and instead of feeling distant, we became closer than ever. I realized that my judgment was completely off the mark and that it was curiosity that allowed us to reconnect.

In my experience, the opposite of judgment is curiosity. When we rush to judge, we limit our understanding and push people away. It creates stress and isolation, often leading us down a path of unnecessary frustration. But when we remain curious—open to learning what’s really going on—we unlock the door to empathy, connection, and deeper relationships.

Consider this: the next time someone disappoints you or behaves in a way that you don’t understand, pause. Instead of rushing to judge, take a breath, and ask yourself, “What might be happening in their world right now?” This small shift in mindset can transform the way you relate to others, both personally and professionally.

In the words attributed to Viktor Frankl: “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom.” By creating that space for curiosity, we open ourselves up to more meaningful relationships and a far less stressful way of being.

I invite you to reflect on this in your own life. Next time, when you feel the urge to judge, pause, breathe, and choose curiosity. You might be surprised by what you discover and how it can deepen your relationships.

I’d love to hear your thoughts—how has curiosity helped you create stronger connections? Let me know!

Be well, be now.

Barbara